Families on Short Term Missions
It’s really quite different being on a mission team with families. In the past I’ve always been leading youth teams and once James and I went on a mission trip with both our parents to China. That was all before Sophie was born.
I used to be really apprehensive what families can do on short term mission trips especially families with small children. Now, I’m convinced that it’s doable and it’s probably one of the most effective ways of reaching out. Somehow kids just open the doors. Once people see kids, they let down their guards and are able to trust us more. It’s amazing.
Between the 3 families we have 6 kids – one 1 year old, 2 that are 2-3 years old, a 5 year old, a 9 year old and a 12 year old. It helps that the 9 and 12 year olds are SUPER matured. They make great babysitters.
I’ve seen what worked with our group the past few weeks and I’ll just like to share how it can be done.
1. Our schedule is super light.
We normally do only one seminar/teaching per day – e.g if we have a seminar in the night, we will not have one in the day. Some days we have nothing to do, only preparation. Teaching requires a lot of preparation. Only once or twice we had ministry in the morning and night.
Other than ministry, we join the base for worship, intercession and also open meeting nights. We also have our team meetings, devotions and intercession every morning for about 1 hr together with the kids. We also meet our leaders as a couple for feedback and personal time once or twice during the prep and outreach.
2. Time for family & spouses
We always have a weekly day off and Sunday after church is free for us too. We are mindful of the need for family time and marriage time. It’ll be ironic if we as representatives of the Family Ministries School failed to have time for our own families and spouses! It is SO important to make sure we spend time with our kids and keep their love tanks full. Sometimes when we’re on the run, they feel it too and tend to act up more. We need to slow down and be with them.
3. Keep to kids’ schedules
As much as we could, we try to keep to the kids’ schedules e.g during naptimes and bedtime, we’re back at the base. If meals are late, we will prepare food for the kids first. This is very important because it gives the kids security and there is a lot less fussing. But I have to say, our kids have been very flexible – Julia sleeps in her pram and so far Micha and Sophie have slept whenever needed and even once on the beach!
4. Keeping the team small really helps.
We are only 3 families. Decision making is tough even with 3 families of different cultures and systems. If there are more families, it’ll be harder to make decisions.
5. Having a baby monitor helps.
We forgot to bring ours but the Swiss family did. So when they are out for ministry at night, we will help to listen if Micha, their son, wakes up in the night.
6. It helps that all of our children sleep by 8pm or so.
I’m forever thankful that Sophie has been habitually sleeping by 8pm. That has really helped in the adjustment to NZ and on missions.
7. It helps to have certain team rules.
For example, we eat everything we are provided with. We can buy our own food but we cannot bring it to the dinner table because it will cause jealousy for the locals who might not be able to afford. That is great because our kids all have to eat whatever is before them. Such a great habit! It’s good to set a few team rules that all the families adhere to.
8. The children are included in almost everything.
The children are present for outreach preparation, meetings, devotions, intercession, ministry etc. We learn to work around them and they learn to play around us. It’s really not that easy. For example once during our turn to teach, Sophie needed to pee. This was in the really rural village – no sitting toilets! In the end she had to do it under a tree and only after much crying. Super stress. Poor girl! But eventually every time she’s at the rural village, she’s fine with doing her business anywhere. Thank God for the breakthrough!
9. Foster the bonding between the children and other parents as early as possible
This will enable other parents to look after your kids and they are able to play well with the other children. For example, one night Micha woke up crying while his parents were teaching at a seminar and James had to put him back to bed. It was not that bad because Micha knows James well and could trust him. Micha is only 2 btw.
10. Arrange intensive prayer time separately
The men meet at 5.30am every morning to pray and at certain times, we meet to pray when the kids are napping. This give us the space to listen in and really intercede. There needs to be a balance because we cannot involve the children in everything.
Finally it’s all a matter of being patient and adjusting our expectations. Communication between families is also key. Most of all, just need to trust God because there is just so much that are beyond us. It’s been a great experience and I’m so very glad we did it.