We spent today walking around town. Met up with an old old friend, Grace and had lunch with her. Took a walk to the Botanic Gardens and Canterbury Museum. Soph fell asleep on the way so James and I just detoured and sat down by the river and chilled. Had a wonderful chat while Sophie slept in the stroller. After she woke up, we went to the Museum as per her request.

It’s nice to be in a city again. We missed the sights, shopping, eating and museums. Ended with dinner at a Jap restaurant. Beautiful. More photos on flickr.

And yes, I chose a hotel with free internet.

We’re in Christchurch for a short holiday over Christmas and New Year’s.

Our first stop??? A Korean restaurant! Oooo so shiok the kimchi and other appetizers…..

Sophie and Evan enjoying the market

Once a month, Matamata town has a market like this. Oooo it was so nice to walk around even though it drizzled a little.

We found some second hand books for $1 or 2 and bought some pretty handmade hairclips for the girls. The girls got free balloons, candies from Santa and many hellos from people around.

It’s funny how when a small town like Matamata has a market day, you’ll meet everyone you know!

We are really enjoying our break.

So, what have we been doing?

1. Cooking – The base kitchen is closed between schools, which is GREAT! We get to cook all we like to eat. I’ve been cooking and baking everyday and totally enjoying it. Lamb is so cheap here and we’ve been eating all we can. Also, we are all attempting to put on the weight which we lost the past months. Esp for Sophie and I! Actually Sophie put on weight but she is so tall, it really doesn’t show at all! She’s now 95 cm and 12.2kg. 95cm! That’s definitely not from me!

Cabbage in Oyster Sauce + Herbal Chicken Soup (Heaven!)

2. Playing – Sophie is totally enjoying her books and toys again. Slowing down has been great coz that means that Sophie gets to play with us everyday! She really really enjoys that.

3. Shopping! – Gin and I have been going shopping almost everyday. Ya we’ve been to Tauranga, Hamilton (2x!) and of course to our local supermarkets and good ole Warehouse. It’s funny how there’s not much to buy but just so nice to look around! The kids are getting better at shopping with us so it’s been great. In fact we just spent today at the local weekend market and drove to Hamilton for some retail therapy. Of course we only end up buying stuff for the kids. Bad habit!

4. Base stuff – The base still needs ongoing maintenance even when we are in between schools. If not we’ll get overgrown by weeds! Yep so we’ve been spending some mornings in the garden just weeding and cleaning up.

Weeding in the garden. Check out the blue summer sky!

5. Fishing – This only refers to James. He’s been going fishing everyday! In fact he’s gone deep sea fishing today with some of the people from the base. God blessed them with a free boat – a friend lent it to them. He’s very very happy about that.

6. Getting ready for Christmas – Sophie and I have been making cards and wrapping and posting presents. This is the first time we’re away from home during Christmas! We are so missing all our friends back home.

7. Planning for our short trip to Christchurch – Woo hoo! We’re going to meet up with some friends in Christchurch and that includes Vicky and Jasper who are getting married TODAY. I’ve been researching and going to start to book the flights and lodging. Can’t wait!

8. Finally, we’re enjoying summer. It’s so nice to see my legs and feet again. So happy to bring out the summer clothes!

We all have expectations. We deny it but it’s true and it’s there. It seems like it is non-existent until an expectation is not met.

I’ve been meditating on the outreach, kinda like debriefing with God and the passage that He’s given me over the outreach which is Galations 5. It talks about the law and the Spirit.

Having an expectation is like having a law. We all have laws, whether good or bad, reasonable or unreasonable written on our hearts – my teacher should be this this this, my parent should be this this this, my husband should do this this this and then, they’ll be right.

My question is, should there even be a good or reasonable law for others or for ourselves? King David says I have hidden your word in my heart so that I will not sin against you, not I have hidden your word in my heart so that I can make sure others don’t sin against you!

Even if there is a law written in our hearts (which is true), Paul says in Galations 5 that "it was for freedom that Christ has set us free… you who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen from grace…", which simply means that the law serves to judge us and steer us towards what we should do but it’s not to beat ourselves up about and get all stressed up because Christ has come to set us free! If we continue to beat ourselves up according to the law and trying to be right all the time, we are "alienated from Christ"  – that’s so sad! And "fallen from grace"! Yucks! Who wants that!?!

I’ve always known this but since coming out of Singapore, I’ve felt it and realised it even more than ever – as a Singaporean, I have a terrible sin – I need to be right ALL the time! I am so afraid to lose and I hate to be wrong or fail. Worse of all? I put everyone around me under the same "law" or judgement! Esp James and Sophie! Eeks! How awful is that?!? (Btw, we all cover this up real well as in we don’t go around telling people directly why they are wrong, it is uncovered in our best when we complain, gossip or worst, SULK. We are terribly good at that.)

Anyways, back to what I was saying, if operating out of the law is opposite to operating out of grace referring to Galations, then, that explains why as Singaporeans we are struggling so hard to be a gracious society! Personally, I struggle to show grace and my carnal instinct is to judge and complain when things go wrong (but I only complain in my heart k… see I’m so righteous, I don’t complain what!?!, I just complain in my heart only… ok sometimes to my husband… ya right right… ). Need to grip it at the thought life.

I need to understand this – the law is governed by God and God alone. The law that we hold for ourselves/others which I equate to expectations here in this reflection, might not always be fair or holy. Only He alone is the judge and ruler of all. He gave the law out out of love to set the boundaries for relationship with God and men so that men will not "bite" and devour" each other (Galations 5:15). He is perfect (bible calls it holy) so He alone can demand perfection and keep to perfection (not me). Because He is love and grace, he alone made it possible for man to be free from the judgement of the law through His son’s death and resurrection.

Note to self:
I cannot keep the law. I can only say sorry and move on. Even trying to do the right thing doesn’t work. In my study bible, it says "the burden of the rigorous demands of the law as the means for gaining God’s favor – an intolerable burden for sinful humanity." No way I can keep the law and I must stop making other people keep the law. Need to eradicate expectations. I have no right to expect. I am the receiver of that love and grace. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through LOVE." The New Testament parables that Jesus told all pointed to this – stop pretending to be all righteous, stop judging, stop throwing stones at others, LOVE, GIVE, SHARE, even to your enemies. Because you can’t keep the law, you can only receive of love and grace and freely give of that.

How would I know if I’m showing grace and love? – "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is NO LAW!… Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." I need to move in the opposite spirit.

Oh wait, btw, need to remember I would probably complain and judge again so at the heart of it, I must learn to say sorry instead of justifying myself. So, at the heartiest heart of it? It’s all about being humble. How hard is that for a Singaporean? Hardest of hard. Lord, help me.

P/s: Scary thing? So many countries are trying to be like Singapore just because we’ve done so well, seemingly. Oh Lord, pls help. I love Singapore but we really need help here. We need a change of heart.

P/ss: Erm, this reflection might not be all theologically sound so pls take it with a pitch of salt and it’s more a personal reflection. I’m not really good at talking it out so it helps me to process my thoughts if I write it out. And I’ve gotten all lazy with handwriting (maybe I should do Handwriting without Tears with Soph!) and it’s much easier typing. And since I’ve typed it out, I might as well post it out. Haha!

Ok now for the good part.

The hospital stay was such a pleasant one for Sophie and us. We were really blessed with friends on the base we took us to and fro the doctors and hospital. It’s times like these that I’m so thankful that we live in community.

The nurses and doctors at the pediatric ward were all pediatrics trained in Waikato Hospital, apparently it’s not the case everywhere. We were so worried about Sophie having to receive an IV treatment because she had a real bad experience back home when she needed blood extracted for a test. But we was so surprised that they do it pain free here! They administered a local cream(!) anesthetic. Ya CREAM! Duh why didn’t they do that for Sophie when she needed the blood test when she was a baby! Argh! Anyways, we were really thankful that it was pain free and they even used a teddy bear plaster to cover it up. Sigh… so sweet. When they took out the IV on the last day, they covered it up with a smiley plaster. Sigh… what a comfort.

The best part of the stay was that Sophie got to go to a room ran by a group of Play Specialists. YA! That’s really what they are called – Play Specialists! I would like a job like that! On the first day, Sophie was still confined to the bed so they sent over a tray of craft materials, a box of Duplo and some books. Aiyo, so sweet lah. The next day, Sophie went over to the room with her IV station and did painting, played with Playmobil etc.

Sophie painting in the play room with her good hand, quite a Picasso huh?

We also met a wonderful Filipino family who shared the nursery room with us. It’s so nice to meet fellow Asians! And we got a taste of amazing Asian hospitality – the family prepared and packed breakfast (rice with luncheon meat and eggs! Shiok!) for us every morning while we were there! Food SO warms our hearts. That really really blessed us. We got to pray for their son who has an acute case of eczema before we left.

Finally the thing that really shocked us – all we needed to pay for was the medicine and it only cost us NZ$3.20. Seriously, I had a shock when the pharmacist told me $3.20. I almost laughed. I learnt about welfare system in school but having experienced it, I’m truly amazed. I know there was pros and cons to any system but being on the receiving end, I must say we are truly blessed.

So all in all, it was quite a scare and I must have broken down crying at least 2 times but God has held us and we have been so blessed. Sophie’s leg is still healing from the blisters and she is still on antibiotics but she’s finally eating well and running around like normal again.

We just got back from the hospital. What a week it has been!

What began as an innocent mozzie bite on Sophie in Vanuatu turned ugly when we got back. I mentioned that Sophie’s been ill. It’s true. She’s been having high fever, a bad cough, runs and a tiny infected mozzie bite on her right leg which we thought had already healed.

What on earth happened?

Towards the end of the trip in Vanuatu, Sophie started having high fever (Thursday). She was totally floppy and clung onto me most of the day. Very rare for Sophie, even when she is sick. You know a child is REALLY ill when she is floppy. Her temp was 40 degrees. Not a good thing while we were still in Vanuatu. Anyways we got the usual meds and monitored the fever. We associated the fever to the cough and runs. She recovered the following day (Friday) and we went on our group island tour. On Sat, she started to have a fever again and it was alright on Sun when we took the flight back. In fact she did pretty well on the plane and car ride back to Matamata and didn’t even throw up once. She was still having a bad cough and a bit of runs though.

On Monday, she was alright. Not the best, still a bit clingy. Fever up and down. Then we spotted that the mozzie bite had pus! Which was strange coz James had been routinely cleaning it and making sure that it was covered. You see, in Vanuatu, mozzie bites can get infected very rapidly by the flies and it can go really bad. Anyway, we decided to bring her to the GP in town coz the fever had been almost 5 days and most times if fever don’t leave after 5 days, it’s really time to worry. It was 10 mins drive away. He saw her and decided to give her a cream antibiotics for the bite instead of oral antibiotics coz it’ll make her runs worse. It was either runs or blood infection, I suppose. Both as bad.

On Tuesday, her fever shot up again and she was floppy the whole day. She did not move once from the sofa from morning till almost evening! By the end of the day, we noticed that her lower right leg was swollen and blistering! That explained why she didn’t really want to walk! All this time we were worried about her cough and runs! Called Rae, our ped nurse on the base and she was really worried and got us to the clinic. Thank God there was still a doctor at 8pm. It normally closes at 5/6pm. He saw her and put her on oral antibiotics (Rae said at that pt, he shd have sent her into A&E immediately. She would have.) to monitor for a night and if the infection didn’t recede, he’d need to admit Sophie for IV. So we went home.

Infected leg, with markings courtesy of Rae & Claire our brillant nurses on the base

Next morning, I got up early and checked her leg and the area of infection had increased! Panicked and I facebooked Claire. Thank God for facebook, thank God for Claire! She came over and checked. I can’t tell you how amazing God’s put 2 nurses on the base – one ped nurse and one orthopedic nurse, both totally specialized in this case! Long story short, we got her to hospital in Hamilton, 1 hr from here.

She got admitted, got her antibiotics via IV and was on her way to recovery. The fever subsided and we were out in 2 days. What a scare!