Our church organised a PINK pampering session for the ladies a couple of weeks ago. About 50 ladies turned up from all over Matamata! It was held in a really pretty family ran restaurant down the road from town.

They invited a professional make up artist, manicurist, hairdresser and masseuse and we could pay a minimum fee to sign up and enjoy the services! It was great!

I was actually really exhausted by evening time and wasn't up to going but so glad I did! I enjoyed the food, drinks and company. Although I didn't sign up for anything, I was blessed with a manicure!

Happy happy

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was momentous! I drove to town and back on my own! It was all great except at one point, I bumped into an elderly man's car bumper a little trying to reverse out of a parking lot but thank God no damage, phew!

I drove all three of us to town to have brunch at the All Day Breakfast place in town to celebrate Father's Day (erm, NZ doesn't celebrate Father's Day today) and then to New World (supermarket) and Warehouse (like Kmart) for some shopping before we headed back home. I was a bit tensed the whole time coz it's the first time I'm on my own for almost 10 years since I got my license. And it was raining quite heavily at some point. In fact, I'm not sure if I've ever driven on my own before without a seasoned driver!

Anyhow, it's great! Looking forward to more! FREEDOM!!!!!

I'm finally driving after more than 10 years of getting my license!

I've had a phobia of driving after getting my license coz I was horned at by a police car (!) and almost reversed into a drain with a group of youths in the car. And I'm generally a scaredy cat. Driving was just too stressful a thing for me. There was never a real pressing reason for me to drive since transportation was so easily available in Singapore and it was too expensive to own a car anyways.

But here in Matamata, we can't go anywhere without a car! Plus James doesn't have a driving license although I think he can prob drive better than me.

You ask, how did we survive the past 1 and a half years? The first school we did, we thought we were just staying for 3 months and it wasn't so important that we couldn't get to places. There was a van run to town every week and if we needed to go into town, we could just get a lift from someone.

When we returned in July last year, Gin was here too and we decided to buy a car together. I thought I'll try driving then but still, the inertia was just too strong. She drove most of the time so I didn't feel like I really needed to.

BUT NOW! We have a car (7 seater at that!) and no one to drive us around anymore! So…………….. I decided to just get on with it. Turns out, it's really not that bad. Funny how fear can grip us so tightly that we can't see past anything and everything is an excuse to why I can't do it. But I believe God answered my prayer and gave me a breakthrough. I felt so at ease the first time behind the wheels and today, I actually drove into town and back with Claire as my coach. Sophie even fell asleep on the way home!

I'm SO thrilled!!!!! For those who know me well prob know what a breakthrough it is for me! I am so looking forward to driving into town on my own soon…. yay!

I LOVE to read. But i’m not one of those deep deep readers. For example, I’m not into Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter etc. Although when I was young, I read fairy tales, fantasy and mystery like Enid Blyton and Nancy Drew etc. I’m more a Amy Tan or Jodi Picoult kinda gal.

But in the recent years, I find myself gravitating towards coffee table books and magazines. I think I’m getting lazy. I like little words and pretty pictures.

Anyways for the past two weeks, I’ve been having Saturdays off where I go galavanting on my own while James hangs out with Sophie at home. As usual, when I shop, I end up buying books and magazines. Last week I got Sophie a craft book and this week I got myself a lovely coffee table book called Kids’ Room for only $15 and one of my fav mags Frankie. It’s hard to find Frankie around since it’s an Aussie publication but I managed to find it in Hamilton.

So today, after lunch, I sat down to do my fav thing, read and chill. And lo and behold, the little one wants to do the same thing. But she says, "Mummy I like to peek into your book!"

We all have expectations. We deny it but it’s true and it’s there. It seems like it is non-existent until an expectation is not met.

I’ve been meditating on the outreach, kinda like debriefing with God and the passage that He’s given me over the outreach which is Galations 5. It talks about the law and the Spirit.

Having an expectation is like having a law. We all have laws, whether good or bad, reasonable or unreasonable written on our hearts – my teacher should be this this this, my parent should be this this this, my husband should do this this this and then, they’ll be right.

My question is, should there even be a good or reasonable law for others or for ourselves? King David says I have hidden your word in my heart so that I will not sin against you, not I have hidden your word in my heart so that I can make sure others don’t sin against you!

Even if there is a law written in our hearts (which is true), Paul says in Galations 5 that "it was for freedom that Christ has set us free… you who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen from grace…", which simply means that the law serves to judge us and steer us towards what we should do but it’s not to beat ourselves up about and get all stressed up because Christ has come to set us free! If we continue to beat ourselves up according to the law and trying to be right all the time, we are "alienated from Christ"  – that’s so sad! And "fallen from grace"! Yucks! Who wants that!?!

I’ve always known this but since coming out of Singapore, I’ve felt it and realised it even more than ever – as a Singaporean, I have a terrible sin – I need to be right ALL the time! I am so afraid to lose and I hate to be wrong or fail. Worse of all? I put everyone around me under the same "law" or judgement! Esp James and Sophie! Eeks! How awful is that?!? (Btw, we all cover this up real well as in we don’t go around telling people directly why they are wrong, it is uncovered in our best when we complain, gossip or worst, SULK. We are terribly good at that.)

Anyways, back to what I was saying, if operating out of the law is opposite to operating out of grace referring to Galations, then, that explains why as Singaporeans we are struggling so hard to be a gracious society! Personally, I struggle to show grace and my carnal instinct is to judge and complain when things go wrong (but I only complain in my heart k… see I’m so righteous, I don’t complain what!?!, I just complain in my heart only… ok sometimes to my husband… ya right right… ). Need to grip it at the thought life.

I need to understand this – the law is governed by God and God alone. The law that we hold for ourselves/others which I equate to expectations here in this reflection, might not always be fair or holy. Only He alone is the judge and ruler of all. He gave the law out out of love to set the boundaries for relationship with God and men so that men will not "bite" and devour" each other (Galations 5:15). He is perfect (bible calls it holy) so He alone can demand perfection and keep to perfection (not me). Because He is love and grace, he alone made it possible for man to be free from the judgement of the law through His son’s death and resurrection.

Note to self:
I cannot keep the law. I can only say sorry and move on. Even trying to do the right thing doesn’t work. In my study bible, it says "the burden of the rigorous demands of the law as the means for gaining God’s favor – an intolerable burden for sinful humanity." No way I can keep the law and I must stop making other people keep the law. Need to eradicate expectations. I have no right to expect. I am the receiver of that love and grace. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through LOVE." The New Testament parables that Jesus told all pointed to this – stop pretending to be all righteous, stop judging, stop throwing stones at others, LOVE, GIVE, SHARE, even to your enemies. Because you can’t keep the law, you can only receive of love and grace and freely give of that.

How would I know if I’m showing grace and love? – "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is NO LAW!… Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." I need to move in the opposite spirit.

Oh wait, btw, need to remember I would probably complain and judge again so at the heart of it, I must learn to say sorry instead of justifying myself. So, at the heartiest heart of it? It’s all about being humble. How hard is that for a Singaporean? Hardest of hard. Lord, help me.

P/s: Scary thing? So many countries are trying to be like Singapore just because we’ve done so well, seemingly. Oh Lord, pls help. I love Singapore but we really need help here. We need a change of heart.

P/ss: Erm, this reflection might not be all theologically sound so pls take it with a pitch of salt and it’s more a personal reflection. I’m not really good at talking it out so it helps me to process my thoughts if I write it out. And I’ve gotten all lazy with handwriting (maybe I should do Handwriting without Tears with Soph!) and it’s much easier typing. And since I’ve typed it out, I might as well post it out. Haha!

Now that the mag is being printed and I can breathe, this is what I’m doing now -

1. Trying to figure out the weather in Melbourne and what to wear??????

I’m such a Singaporean girl – I wear sleeveless t-shirts, jeans and slippers, at the most I have a cardigan. I have no idea how to dress myself or Sophie in warm clothing. I did a REALLY bad job in Shanghai. I think Sophie was underdressed most of the time compared to the China babies who looked like they could roll away in all their bundles and layers! And I don’t want to look silly with a trench coat in Spring.

Sooooooo I’ve been surfing on aussie blogs to see what kids and adults actually wear! And guess what????? They wear sweaters to the beach! Ok I can junk that bikini.

Oh and about the wedding we’re attending in Melbourne – what do people wear to dinner parties? I need a dress! Or do I?

2. Where are the Haji lane type shops in Melbourne? The hidden shops and places?

I think we’ll still go to the usual places of interest. The usual tourist sites have the usual stuff but there’s limited info on what’s current and unusual. I’ve also been surfing blogs and sites. This has been helpful – Craft City Melbourne.

So exciting! I’d love to hear from you if you’ve got recommendations ya?

Left: Sophie reading with A.
Right: Sophie having dinner with kor kor Chris.

I think I’m all ready for No 2…………………… right. Maybe just for an hour a day, ha!

Recently I’ve been doing some babysitting.

First of all, I LOVE KIDS!

Second of all, Sophie loves company and she’s so much happier when there are people around. I’m a great believer of having more kids because they take care of themselves eventually.

And since I live in the neighbourhood of spas and cafes, I’ve offered my friends – come, leave your kids with me and go have a dinner date/spa treatment and enjoy yourself. (I even thought of making this into a business considering the number of expats around this area who wouldn’t mind paying for this!)

So, some time back, Wanz dropped Ally (3 yrs old) and Arya (18 mths old?) with their helper and went for her hair cut. Just last Friday, B dropped A (2 yrs old) off to go do her nails. And on Fri night, I went over to S’s house with Soph to look after my godson Chris (6 yrs old) while his dad went for F1 and his mum was at work.

Ooooooo ok, truth?

The first hour is BLISS! The kids play nicely – sharing toys, food, books……….. I even sat down to read the papers at some point.

The next hour, the kids suddenly turn on each other! Share! No! Snatch! Cry! Fight! Etc……. Here’s where I come in with distractions – here have this other toy, biscuit (somehow someone elses’ biscuits always tastes better!) etc…….

Finally, I put on the TV while waiting for food to arrive. Rest. For like 15 mins……. and then I realise, not everyone’s kid is like mine! I went thru 3-4 vcds because Sophie wanted the "The Backyardigans" but A wanted "Barney". When I put on one, the other say "No!". My part time helper had a good laugh watching me trying to satisfy the two little two year olds!

My conclusion??????????? An age gap of 2 and above is great! 4 years apart even better coz Chris was such a gem and was constantly trying to play with Sophie. Having twins is disastrous unless you’re there watching them all the time at this stage.

But I still LOVE KIDS.

I finally got a copy of The Creative Family by Amanda Blake Soule! I love her blog and when she launched her book I wanted to order one from Amazon but I found it at MPH (plus Citibank card holders get 20% off now).

I had such a wonderful time reading it on my off day. Yes! My off day! James watched Sophie on Wed afternoon while I went off for my long awaited off day. Not quite an off day but nevertheless, a whole afternoon to myself. SO NICE LAH……… What did I do? I went to the National Museum to collect some tickets for Sophie n her kiddy friends for this Sunday’s Museum for Toddlers, jumped in in time for the guided 1hr tour, walked to City Hall, had to go to MPH (cannot help myself!!!), bought books, sat down at Ben & Jerry’s for ice cream (also cannot help myself) to read, shopped around a bit and met James for dinner and movie coz it was also our date night.

Anyways back to the book, it totally inspired me. I like it that she was so personal about her life and her ideals in bringing up the family creatively, very Waldorf. And of course, the photos totally swept me off my feet. Plus the fantastic craft ideas.

Two things spoke to me
1. She believes in purchasing good art and craft materials that can be used by anyone in the family. Not separating what the adults use from the kids. I thought that was pretty cool. That helps to educate the kids about these materials, encourage them to be creative as a family and to be careful with the materials that they use. It’s like WOW even the adults use them, it must be very special!

2. She writes about family creative time where the family just sit together quietly and do their own creative thing – e.g drawing, crafting etc. That’s really cool! Funny how James is an artist but we’ve never done this before.

The book is inspiring and causes me to think in all directions BUT unfortunately, not all can be done easily here in Singapore since we do not have a strong crafting culture and we do lack creative spaces e.g. parks, oceans etc. But it’s ok, I love the challenge of thinking out of the box and doing within my means anyways. I’ll just work with what we have!

As a result, I have since brought Sophie to the park and made sure she walked on the grass and not just the pavement, I’ve bought a pair of shoes and earrings on a whim just because they looked pretty (I’m generally a stinge), we’ve also drawn and painted together just Sophie and I.

I’m taking a break from blogging about the trip to announce: MY DESK IS HERE!

It’s a little antique looking Indonesian made solid wood foldable desk! I love it! It’s so pretty with little drawers and secret compartments. Even a little shelf to put my bible. Sweet! I’ve always wanted one like that! The best part is that it fits into the little corner in our dining area. I was so excited, spent the whole afternoon and evening last night moving our furniture around. That’s the problem with a tiny place, if you have one more piece of furniture, you need to move everything around so that it all fits like a puzzle. But I love doing that. Therapeutic.

This will do as my little sanctuary. A place to call my own. A place for me for my quiet time, to keep my stuff and to work while Sophie toddles around me (although she very quickly figured out how to pull out the drawers ). And it closes up nicely as a feature piece when guests come around. Perfect.

This is the first Saturday in ages that both of us have no commitments. No birthday parties to go to, no practices, no cell, no nothing. The whole day! Woo hoo!

We made our way out of the house bright n early at 11am (haha…). The plan was 9am but… oh wells… it was too early. We went to Ben & Jerry’s for breakfast. The plan was Jones the Grocer but it was too packed. But ooo so nice… I love eating at Ben & Jerry’s coz there’s hardly anyone there and the food is great too! Sophie loves eating with us. She finished half of my foccacia bread (ooo i love foccacia bread!) and drank some of my hot chocolate, to which she said "so yummy!". So cute lah.

After that, we went shopping for my WORK TABLE!!!!!!! Yes! I’ve been waiting to buy this for a long time! A nice work table where I can put my laptop and organise all my stuff. And we found a perfect one! I’ll post pictures once it arrives………. I’m so excited! You know, since we’ve moved here… 3 years to be exact, I haven’t had my own proper table. I have one in the backroom but I’m hardly in there and it’s just not the way I want it. I’m REALLY happy to finally have my own table. Question is where does it go right? Haha in our tiny place? I bet that’s what all of you are thinking…. well you’ll see soon enough! Yipee!

Came home………….. Sophie took a long nap while I drank Ribena and read magazines (shiok ah…) on the sofa…… after that I also knocked out. She woke up, made her some lunch, ate and we spent the rest of the day just hanging out at home. So relaxing……….. Sophie’s asleep and it’s dinner now. James gone to get Jap food for us and time for some video and more rest. Nice…

I’ve been tagged by littlegastronomy to share 5 things about myself that most of you probably wouldn’t know (yes, littlegastronomy wants to dig out my ugly past!!!!!), in no particular order of importance:

1. I LOVE fast cars and motorbike rides. In my past life, I wd take bike rides without helmets around NUS grounds (don’t tell my dad. He almost lost his life before he got married to my mum due to a bike accident), go to Sepang to watch F1 (I am secretly very happy that it’s coming to S’p… shhhh don’t tell anyone!), go for late nite drives w friends. I’ll be the first to volunteer to ride with the one who drives a fast car – e.g my cousin in UK (except that it wasn’t very glam – it started to rain and we had to stop to take out the top to cover up the cute lil convertible). Btw, I still love a ride in a fast car.

2. I ACTUALLY HAVE a driving license. And for almost 10 years. REALLY! For those of you who know me, know that I DON’T DRIVE. It is pretty ironic – I love fast cars but I don’t drive. I got scared when I first got my license. Two incidents put me off driving for a long time. A police car horned at me coz I was taking a while to make a turn – how can a police car horn at a P plate driver?!??! How rude! Another time, I had a car load of youths and I couldn’t make it up a slope. So scary!!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept going down and towards the drain. Eeeeeeeeeeeks. I get scared easily. That’s why I won’t drive unless God kicks my butt. I’m quite happy cabbing around. It prob costs me less than owning a car.

3. I ALMOST TRIPPED at my own wedding. I knew it’ll happen, these kinda things always happen to me!! I mean – heels, dress, 600 pp looking at me! I think only some saw it. I think. My heels got stuck in the sliding door groove as I entered. How glam. My friend had to help me remove my shoes and put them on so I could continue the walk in. I definitely can’t do the actress red carpet stuff. Too embarassing.

4. I GOT STUNG by a giant jellyfish and almost died. I was in my 2nd year of university. I was at Bintan with 9 other friends. I walked into the sea, right into a giant jellyfish, screamed in pain, fainted, got carried off by 2 friends, woke up few mins later, thot I died. I still have visible scars if you notice my legs. From my ankles to my thighs. The thing was I didn’t call home or tell my parents until I got home 3 days later. Hiak. My legs swelled up like elephant legs (actually similar to when I was preggie! Eeks. Flashback!) Anyways, I still eat jellyfish, love eating them actually. I still go snorkelling although I have flashbacks.

5. I NEVER THOUGHT I would become a stay home mum. Never crossed my mind. I like working. I still do. But I wanted to be home when my children come home from school. To be there to open the door for them and hear all their stories first hand. So I prayed about it. A big consideration factor was our finances. How were we going to cope with just one salary and we just started the business? BUT God spoke loud and clear. In the time I was praying about whether I should stop work, He sent 3 different persons who didn’t know our situation to give me a love gift ($$) each. God kept providing like that out of nowhere. It was then that we knew deep in our hearts that He who calls, will provide. So I quit, even without worrying about the three months of maternity pay. God has been so good to us – the jobs just keep coming. A lot of hard work but we have never been in lack. The current arrangement is great – I get to work somewhat, look after Sophie and still have good time to hang out with friends.

There must be more to my drama life but for the life of me, I can’t remember them! And now I’m going to tag June, Pris, Steph, Vicky and Jiayuan.

What type of Mother Hen Are You?
by Montessorimom.com: Educational Resource